Some years ago I saw a documentary about the greatest band in the world. Some women were assessing who their favourites were. Some claimed that Paul McCartney was their man as he's "seriously cute." Others pointed out that Lennon was much more lifelike thanks to his natural hard-edged cynicism. In general though they preferred the doe eyed minstrel to the bitter ball of anger. They didn't dislike John outright though. In fact, they argued that the two men were so opposite in character that it somehow added to the Beatles total ability. Beauty and suffering in musical terms. Abrasion and balm.
"Every time I see him leaving the room I think, "Mozart has just left the room."" Not my words. These are the words of Paul Gambucini. Me and Gambo don't agree on many things apart from Hey Jude being the single greatest song ever recorded and wholegrain mustard's easy superiority over its yellow brother and, I'm afraid to say, we don't agree here. Gambo often likes to bandy the word "genius" in his McCartney sentences. Sorry Paul but there have only been two geniuses and they are Shakespeare and Mozart. Sir James Paul McCartney does not make up a triumvirate. He's got God given talent but let's not go mad.
Aha! You've got my number! You're a John man, are you? Well, yes and well, no. You see, I disagree with woman above. I've never seen the Beatles thing as falling in between two camps. It doesn't work this way. Life doesn't. The lines are far too blurred for that. Look at the evidence. Soft and gentle McCartney is mainly responsible for Helter Skelter which out rocks Led Zep at their Roman orgiastic best while on the same album the singing like he's got salt in a gun wound Lennon recorded "Julia", the beautiful ballad Elliot Smith tried to re-write a hundred times. Well, okay, let's try to rate them against each other. This isn't the point of the Beatles - it was never a contest, but let us speculate. We can begin with their pre 1967 innings. Well quite.
You see, pre 1967 they worked as a team. Lennon and McCartney in its purest sense. Sitting opposite each other in hotel rooms, nipping off to write the middle eight of their mate's verse and chorus etc. Together they could knock out some gold. Do you really need me to provide you with evidence? Really? Fine. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I give you "Ticket To Ride." Three perfect minutes of awesome ability. This is clearly John's song but it's nothing without Paul's percussive layering. You can't give that to Ringo (you can give him "Rain" though - his finest hour) as it was McCartney who orchestrated it and the song couldn't get along without it. Mind you, the winklepicker fits on the other foot too. "I'll Follow The Sun" is archetypal Paul, beautiful, unobtrusive and simple but John's sharing of the chorus gives it its balls. They got on then and Christ can't you tell. Who's winning so far?
Well, clearly we are. Actually before we go any further can I "out" our editor. Next time you're at a Buttoned Down night why not go up to the man with the long fringe who is giving you the best tunes in all of the metropolis' postal districts and ask him why he dislikes "Girl" and "Eleanor Rigby". Go on. It'll take his mind off requests for Wham and Lene Lovitch. For believe it or not, young Chris doesn't rate them. You wouldn't credit it, would you? He looks so intelligent too. Go and ask him. You won't want to though, will you? Perhaps you're like me and want to take pity on him and don't want to be a party to such Flat Earth thinking. I mean, just listen to the things, will you? If you really think that the rest of us are admiring the Emperor's new clothes then kindly leave me to myself. Go on. You're not wanted. I digress.
So Paul 1 John 1 before Pepper.
Now, obviously Pepper is overrated but it's the Beatles for Christ sakes. The Beatles! The two gladiators meet and shake hands on the awesome "She's Leaving Home" and again on "A Day In The Life" but Paul lets down his fan club with "Fixing A Hole", "When I'm Sixty Four" and "Lovely Rita." John fouls the footpath too but not quite so much. Incidentally, clawing back to that "two parts of a whole" argument I bored you with earlier McCartney insists that a good example lies in the lyrics of "Getting Better" strikes their typical chords. Allow me.
Paul: I have to admit it's getting better. A little better all the time.
John: It couldn't get much worse.
John takes a lead for Strawberry Fields Forever alone. Also, the dull "Hello Goodbye" (McCartney) had the superb "I Am The Walrus" (Lennon) on the flip side. Adequate proof that they really did start to lose their mental faculties after Brian's death. I'm calling the rest of Magical Mystery Tour a draw as for Paul's awful "Your Mother Should Know" is followed by his exquisite "Fool On The Hill." They both worked on "Flying" which is comfortably the most underrated Beatles song ever.
Paul 1 John 2. Three albums to play.
Let's fly forward to November 1968 - the month of my birth. The lads have been to India, been silly, found the meaning of life, played acoustic guitars with Donovan and abandoned their razors. Now they're back and recorded The White Album. Imagine going to a record shop and buying that album on the day it was released. Let's be fair, amongst the beauty there are some absolute howlers. "Martha My Dear," "Ob Bla Di" and "Honey Pie" for Paul, "Revolution 9," and "Good Night" for Johnny Boy. George throws in "Savoy Truffle" (which Buttoned Down Chris likes! He's asking for it, isn't he?) to prove that he's still learning his craft but he's getting there. So who wins 1968? Lennon gives us "Happiness Is a Warm Gun", "Revolution", "Sexy Sadie", "I'm So Tired", "Dear Prudence" and "Cry Baby Cry". Imagine having written those songs in one calendar year. Prudence alone would have me resting on my laurels. So he's won this year, yeah? Paul donates the ludicrous "Rocky Racoon", the three mentioned above and the loathsome "Lady Madonna". How can he win?
He does.
By a mile.
A country one.
"Hey Jude."
It's the equivalent of a last minute goal, of an admired woman deciding not to go home with her boyfriend after all and asking about your toothbrush arrangements. As saves go this one is a doozy. It's perfect. It's the greatest song ever recorded. Gambo, I'm in your corner on this one. It's simple as all great music is. Anyone who can bang out a tune can play it. It begins like a ballad and ends as a gospel choir with Little Richard wailing over it. The fadeout is brilliantly innovative, as it was the first 7" single to go over seven minutes. DJs used to play it at seven minutes to the hour before the news so they could end their programmes could end that little earlier. And what a way to end your programme. Even Chris likes it!
Paul 2 John 2.
As Iggy says, "It's 1969 okay. There's war across the USA." There was war in the Beatle camp too. Apple was going tits up, Paul and John couldn't agree with each other's choice for manager, they both married very different women and they both worked on and released The Ballad Of John And Yoko. Times don't get much lower than that. I'm going to club "Abbey Road" and "Let It Be" together although the latter was released later a year later. Let's see how they get on. John gives us "I Want You (She's So Heavy)", "Don't Let Me Down" (another B side to an inferior song) and "Across The Universe" (which you might not like but you should try Bowie's version. Someone should call the Inquisition). Not much of a return but he was looking for a way out by now. Paul's good stuff includes "Oh! Darling," "The Long And Winding Road" and "Let It Be." Again, not much of a return. They were both matched by George this year too. "Here Comes The Sun," Something," and "For You Blue" would give him the year but we're not talking about him. That's for another time. No, you see in 1969 something great happened. Something wondrous that paid instant dividends. They started working together again. Just look at the results. "Two Of Us," "Sun King," "Because" (great on the Anthology and almost ruined by Annie Lennox. If you've still got the Inquisition on the phone you might like to tell them to hang on a moment) and "The End". This last one ends with their best couplet which sums up their last eight recording years.
"And in the end, the love you make, is equal to the love you take."
Shakespeare + Mozart.
This should have been their last word, the perfect farewell, the coup de grace but Paul, Paul!, ruins the whole thing by sticking a limp ballad of love to the FUCKING QUEEN at the end. I'm sorry Paul, I was going to call it a draw and make some lame point about how you can't rate one over the other but I'm giving John the nod just because of "Your Majesty". You just know that he snuck back into the studio when the others were on holiday and put it on at the end without telling anyone cause he's so bastard nice. That's too much honey, sunshine. You've lost this little contest because of it. Unforgiveable.
Final score: Paul 2 John 3 (after extra time in Studio No. 2, Abbey Road). Attendance, one man, an acoustic guitar and a bellyful of wine.
"Every time I see him leaving the room I think, "Mozart has just left the room."" Not my words. These are the words of Paul Gambucini. Me and Gambo don't agree on many things apart from Hey Jude being the single greatest song ever recorded and wholegrain mustard's easy superiority over its yellow brother and, I'm afraid to say, we don't agree here. Gambo often likes to bandy the word "genius" in his McCartney sentences. Sorry Paul but there have only been two geniuses and they are Shakespeare and Mozart. Sir James Paul McCartney does not make up a triumvirate. He's got God given talent but let's not go mad.
Aha! You've got my number! You're a John man, are you? Well, yes and well, no. You see, I disagree with woman above. I've never seen the Beatles thing as falling in between two camps. It doesn't work this way. Life doesn't. The lines are far too blurred for that. Look at the evidence. Soft and gentle McCartney is mainly responsible for Helter Skelter which out rocks Led Zep at their Roman orgiastic best while on the same album the singing like he's got salt in a gun wound Lennon recorded "Julia", the beautiful ballad Elliot Smith tried to re-write a hundred times. Well, okay, let's try to rate them against each other. This isn't the point of the Beatles - it was never a contest, but let us speculate. We can begin with their pre 1967 innings. Well quite.
You see, pre 1967 they worked as a team. Lennon and McCartney in its purest sense. Sitting opposite each other in hotel rooms, nipping off to write the middle eight of their mate's verse and chorus etc. Together they could knock out some gold. Do you really need me to provide you with evidence? Really? Fine. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I give you "Ticket To Ride." Three perfect minutes of awesome ability. This is clearly John's song but it's nothing without Paul's percussive layering. You can't give that to Ringo (you can give him "Rain" though - his finest hour) as it was McCartney who orchestrated it and the song couldn't get along without it. Mind you, the winklepicker fits on the other foot too. "I'll Follow The Sun" is archetypal Paul, beautiful, unobtrusive and simple but John's sharing of the chorus gives it its balls. They got on then and Christ can't you tell. Who's winning so far?
Well, clearly we are. Actually before we go any further can I "out" our editor. Next time you're at a Buttoned Down night why not go up to the man with the long fringe who is giving you the best tunes in all of the metropolis' postal districts and ask him why he dislikes "Girl" and "Eleanor Rigby". Go on. It'll take his mind off requests for Wham and Lene Lovitch. For believe it or not, young Chris doesn't rate them. You wouldn't credit it, would you? He looks so intelligent too. Go and ask him. You won't want to though, will you? Perhaps you're like me and want to take pity on him and don't want to be a party to such Flat Earth thinking. I mean, just listen to the things, will you? If you really think that the rest of us are admiring the Emperor's new clothes then kindly leave me to myself. Go on. You're not wanted. I digress.
So Paul 1 John 1 before Pepper.
Now, obviously Pepper is overrated but it's the Beatles for Christ sakes. The Beatles! The two gladiators meet and shake hands on the awesome "She's Leaving Home" and again on "A Day In The Life" but Paul lets down his fan club with "Fixing A Hole", "When I'm Sixty Four" and "Lovely Rita." John fouls the footpath too but not quite so much. Incidentally, clawing back to that "two parts of a whole" argument I bored you with earlier McCartney insists that a good example lies in the lyrics of "Getting Better" strikes their typical chords. Allow me.
Paul: I have to admit it's getting better. A little better all the time.
John: It couldn't get much worse.
John takes a lead for Strawberry Fields Forever alone. Also, the dull "Hello Goodbye" (McCartney) had the superb "I Am The Walrus" (Lennon) on the flip side. Adequate proof that they really did start to lose their mental faculties after Brian's death. I'm calling the rest of Magical Mystery Tour a draw as for Paul's awful "Your Mother Should Know" is followed by his exquisite "Fool On The Hill." They both worked on "Flying" which is comfortably the most underrated Beatles song ever.
Paul 1 John 2. Three albums to play.
Let's fly forward to November 1968 - the month of my birth. The lads have been to India, been silly, found the meaning of life, played acoustic guitars with Donovan and abandoned their razors. Now they're back and recorded The White Album. Imagine going to a record shop and buying that album on the day it was released. Let's be fair, amongst the beauty there are some absolute howlers. "Martha My Dear," "Ob Bla Di" and "Honey Pie" for Paul, "Revolution 9," and "Good Night" for Johnny Boy. George throws in "Savoy Truffle" (which Buttoned Down Chris likes! He's asking for it, isn't he?) to prove that he's still learning his craft but he's getting there. So who wins 1968? Lennon gives us "Happiness Is a Warm Gun", "Revolution", "Sexy Sadie", "I'm So Tired", "Dear Prudence" and "Cry Baby Cry". Imagine having written those songs in one calendar year. Prudence alone would have me resting on my laurels. So he's won this year, yeah? Paul donates the ludicrous "Rocky Racoon", the three mentioned above and the loathsome "Lady Madonna". How can he win?
He does.
By a mile.
A country one.
"Hey Jude."
It's the equivalent of a last minute goal, of an admired woman deciding not to go home with her boyfriend after all and asking about your toothbrush arrangements. As saves go this one is a doozy. It's perfect. It's the greatest song ever recorded. Gambo, I'm in your corner on this one. It's simple as all great music is. Anyone who can bang out a tune can play it. It begins like a ballad and ends as a gospel choir with Little Richard wailing over it. The fadeout is brilliantly innovative, as it was the first 7" single to go over seven minutes. DJs used to play it at seven minutes to the hour before the news so they could end their programmes could end that little earlier. And what a way to end your programme. Even Chris likes it!
Paul 2 John 2.
As Iggy says, "It's 1969 okay. There's war across the USA." There was war in the Beatle camp too. Apple was going tits up, Paul and John couldn't agree with each other's choice for manager, they both married very different women and they both worked on and released The Ballad Of John And Yoko. Times don't get much lower than that. I'm going to club "Abbey Road" and "Let It Be" together although the latter was released later a year later. Let's see how they get on. John gives us "I Want You (She's So Heavy)", "Don't Let Me Down" (another B side to an inferior song) and "Across The Universe" (which you might not like but you should try Bowie's version. Someone should call the Inquisition). Not much of a return but he was looking for a way out by now. Paul's good stuff includes "Oh! Darling," "The Long And Winding Road" and "Let It Be." Again, not much of a return. They were both matched by George this year too. "Here Comes The Sun," Something," and "For You Blue" would give him the year but we're not talking about him. That's for another time. No, you see in 1969 something great happened. Something wondrous that paid instant dividends. They started working together again. Just look at the results. "Two Of Us," "Sun King," "Because" (great on the Anthology and almost ruined by Annie Lennox. If you've still got the Inquisition on the phone you might like to tell them to hang on a moment) and "The End". This last one ends with their best couplet which sums up their last eight recording years.
"And in the end, the love you make, is equal to the love you take."
Shakespeare + Mozart.
This should have been their last word, the perfect farewell, the coup de grace but Paul, Paul!, ruins the whole thing by sticking a limp ballad of love to the FUCKING QUEEN at the end. I'm sorry Paul, I was going to call it a draw and make some lame point about how you can't rate one over the other but I'm giving John the nod just because of "Your Majesty". You just know that he snuck back into the studio when the others were on holiday and put it on at the end without telling anyone cause he's so bastard nice. That's too much honey, sunshine. You've lost this little contest because of it. Unforgiveable.
Final score: Paul 2 John 3 (after extra time in Studio No. 2, Abbey Road). Attendance, one man, an acoustic guitar and a bellyful of wine.
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